Monday, June 27, 2011

I'm on the outside.....

*DISCLAIMER: I love my family, friends, Daniel, and Bella- this post in no way means I take all the people in my blessed life for granted!!!!!!*

Do you ever feel like one day you woke up and had forgotten how to make friends? Well that is how I feel. I used to be super outgoing and friendly, would chat up just about anybody and never had a hard time talking to people. Somehow I have turned into a person who doesn't now how to do that...I don't know if it is because I have had so many people who I got close to turn out to not be very good people or what.

One time when I was young I prayed quite fervently for God to send me a best friend. Sam had Kevin and all I wanted in the world was to have a best friend. God answered that prayer and sent me Mary Catherine...we had an awesome friendship for many years, drifted apart for a bit, and are now getting back to being buddies. I have friends but I just feel like they are all so scattered and I'm feeling really down about that.

Marissa lives in Kansas and I miss her so much! Mary Cat lives out in Sevierville which isn't exactly down the street. Renee is in Chatt for two weeks. Franny is in Cookeville. Kendal is in Nashville. Callie is off the map. Sasha is far away. Jeneva is super busy with work and trying to make her way up the corporate ladder (get it girl!), Adam is always working his fingers to the bone, and I see Kate like once a week...Not exactly a cohesive group huh? I love all these girls so much and am trying to forge friendships with others like Laura Hayes and Leslie Hogan, but you know; new friendships are a little scary aren't they? You don't know, for a while atleast, just how high you can let your freak flag fly lol.

I guess it's just difficult to forge new friendships and paths in life. I hope that Daniel, Bella, and I will soon be at a church permanently so that we can start getting really involved with a church family. I think making relationships within your church is a great thing but unfortunately we have not done that at EPC because there is a chance we won't get to stay there. So I guess I'm in the same place I was when I was young, praying fervently to God to send me awesome people to share my life with....

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